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WHAT DO YOU REALLY WANT?
'One of the most calming and powerful actions you can do to intervene in a
stormy world is to stand up and show your soul. Struggling souls catch
light from other souls who are fully lit and willing to show it.' Clarissa Pinkola Estes
There are times in all of our lives when answering the question 'what do
you really want' can be difficult. For some people this is because they
essentially have the things they want in life but for others, it's because
they're not sure what they want or they're scared to admit what they want
for fear of not getting it or feeling as though they will have failed if
they don't achieve it.
A lovely client of mine referred me to a book that I recently bought for
myself. Titled 'Don't Bitch, Just Get Rich' I have to admit it wasn't a
title I would have been drawn to had I seen it on the shelves of my
bookshop. I've always had an inclination to keep away from anything with
'get rich' in the title because my focus lies more with inner harmony than
wealth creation.
Luckily, my client had told me a bit about the book so I knew it was about
achieving richness of life as much as creating wealth (well...that's my
interpretation anyway!). I found it an easy to read little book with some
very practical advice but the best thing for me was finding an answer to
the question - 'what do you really, really want in life?'.
When you ask yourself what you 'really, really' want with the objective of
finding just one thing that is vitally important for you to achieve in the
next few months, years or your lifetime it can be daunting to pinpoint
such a goal. Narrowing your focus to just one area generally places people
under a reasonable amount of pressure - but that pressure can be a good
thing if it brings you clarity about the path ahead.
For the next week or so, continually ask yourself this question - 'what is
one thing that you really, really want?'. Don't limit your responses -
think broadly. For now, don't think about the 'how' just work on the
'what'. To give you a few ideas, here are some examples of things some of
my clients want:
- I want to make a
career out of my creative interest
- I want a life partner
I want to make a difference in the world (but I'm not sure how yet)
- I want to travel to at
least three different continents within the next ten years
- I want to learn to
sing
- I want to make my
family and friends a priority and spend less time at work
- I want to learn to
worry less and enjoy the moment more
- I want to stop
overspending and make a solid financial plan for my future
ON A PERSONAL NOTE
I have to admit, I found this question really tough to answer! Partly, I
suppose, because I have most of what I want in life. I was lucky to have
met a beautiful partner and have children early - which was always my
(very unfashionable) dream. From a very young age, I wanted to be a mother
and home maker before anything else and it was only once I had my family
that I began to search for a career that I would love.
So, I mulled over this question for more than a week...when I woke in the
small hours it was the first thought that leapt into my mind. And I
wondered how it could be so difficult to answer.
I could think of small things I wanted - more time in my days; a little
more youthfulness; more laughter and light heartedness; a better
memory...but I couldn't for the life of me come up with anything that
answered the question in a way that satisfied me.
And then out of the blue it came to me! Not an inspiring, life changing
vision, just a simple but realistic goal - I wanted to make sure we could
always sustain the lifestyle we have now. Where we can freely entertain
our friends, where we can occasionally travel to a warmer place in winter,
where we can enjoy a couple of weekends in the country each year, where we
can keep our home feeling stylish and comfortable, where we have time
together to do the things we enjoy. I don't want any more - but I do want
the same.
For me, it was one of those life changing moments of clarity. Every choice
I needed to make from this point forward would support this goal. As you
can probably imagine, creating a clear vision for the future is something
I do with my clients every day - it had troubled me that I found the
process so difficult myself.
What I now realise is that for each of us, the question needs to be asked
in a way that resonates personally. Toney Fitzgerald's question 'what do
you really, really want?' struck a cord with me.
Luckily Chris shared my vision once I'd told him about it. And so we began
the planning process. It's a long path ahead but at least it is lit and I
feel a clear sense of direction and purpose which makes my life undeniably
richer.
I hope you find the question that best resonates for you and I wish you
the very best lighting your path.
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