CREATING COMMUNITY
'A healthy social life is found only, when in the mirror of each soul the whole community finds its reflection, and when in the whole community the virtue of each one is living.'  Rudolf Steiner

In the past few decades we have seen significant leaps forward in technology, giving us instant access to information and people via mobile phone, email and the internet. Whilst these changes undoubtedly make our lives richer, they also reduce the amount of face to face contact we have with colleagues, friends and family. As well as technological change, society’s move towards ‘affluenza’ has meant longer working hours for many families making many suburban streets empty of activity during the week.

One of my favourite memories from early childhood living in a leafy Sydney suburb is of climbing through the missing palings in the back fence to play with the McGee boys while our mothers shared a ‘cuppa’. Or visiting the elderly lady across the road with her little Pekinese dogs or having the girl from next door join us to swing, play in the cubby or ride bikes around our back garden. All of these things occurred in the years before we were at school when our street seemed a hive of activity.

When my own daughters were young, we lived in a similar suburban street in Melbourne where many families had young children. Most were working long hours and their precious time away from work was spent catching up with each other or carrying out necessary chores.

It has become an inevitable reality that most of us have little time to be part of our local community. Yet there is so much to be gained from the sense of connection that has us feeling like we ‘belong’ in a place.

I envy my friends from Greek and Italian families who still value extended family and cultural traditions as much as they do. Whilst some of them would argue that at times these customs are a burden, they value the benefits as they grow older.

Making the effort to be part of your local or cultural community can be extremely beneficial, particularly when we are isolated from family.

Creating Community Activities
Even if you’re short of time, make an effort to get to know your neighbours. People are often around more during the holiday season so it’s a good time to organise an informal get together with neighbours who you may not have had a chance to get to know.

Accept the shortcomings of family members this Christmas and look for the qualities that you do enjoy in them. Many people regret the time they didn’t spend with family members once someone dies…make a conscious effort to live so that you have no regrets.

Donate either money or a gift before Christmas. My lovely friend Kate has agreed with her family to replace gifts with the purchase of a goat or a bag of grain through World Vision.

Make small connections. Smile at someone as you pass them in the street; look shop keepers in the eye and thank them or make the effort to reconnect with an old friend who you’ve lost touch with.

ON A PERSONAL NOTE
I’m writing this month’s newsletter from Hobart, where my parents have lived now for over thirty years. We moved here from Sydney when I was ten, when my family decided to escape the hustle and bustle and move to the serenity of my mother’s home town. Now that her parents are gone, mum and dad have decided to relocate to Melbourne to be closer to us. I haven’t lived in Hobart for twenty years, yet it still feels like ‘home’ and there’s a sense that I am closing a chapter knowing that this trip will be the last to this house.

I have taken the time to walk the streets of Battery Point, relishing the delicate fragrance of the roses and lavender that grow so perfectly here; taking in the beauty of the cottages around Arthur’s Circus built in the mid 1800’s, the magnificent old sandstone buildings in the city, the serenity of the river. Mt Wellington casts a watchful and protective presence over the city – it is truly striking in the soft afternoon light. I walked past the place where my father’s vintage boat had been moored and remembered weekends spent at remote beaches where the water was so clear we could see the flathead on the sea bed, deep below the hull.

A thousand other memories have been stirred as we’ve cleaned out cupboards, rooms, dad’s shed. Reminders of years of shared experience and the enjoyment of reliving those memories has made this a memorable week in itself. And whilst there’s some sadness in knowing I won’t experience this ‘home’ again, I know that I’ll love wherever my parents choose to live because wherever they are will feel like ‘home’ to me.

We are happy for you to reproduce our articles as long as they remain intact and contain the author's details as follows:

'Kate James is a work life balance coach, writer and speaker. She works with professional people who want to enhance their quality of life by making the right career and life choices. You can find Kate at www.totalbalance.com.au.'