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CREATING POSSIBILITY
'Dwell in possibility.' Emily Dickinson
'Possibility' is one of my favourite words. Where there's possibility,
there is hope and where there is hope, there's a reason to keep going.
Even through the most difficult circumstances.
Rosamund and Ben Zander are the authors of 'The Art of Possibility'.
It's a book that was given to me by a wonderful friend and colleague and
one of those rare books that I've read a number of times.
Throughout the book the Zanders look at twelve different options for
opening up possibility - even in the face of adversity. Primarily, they
emphasise the concept that each of us has the ability to change our
thoughts, our relationships and our lives by taking responsibility for
our own actions and for the way that we view the world.
When we open up possibility we move away from blame, we learn to accept
that things are the way they are but we also ask the question 'what can
I do to change this situation?'.
The authors write about a series of practices that simplify the creation
of 'possibility'.
One of the easiest to implement is the practice of 'Giving an A'. Just
as it sounds, when you give someone an 'A' you find in them the things
that are exceptional. Rather than looking for faults, you focus on the
good. 'It is an enlivening way of approaching people that promises to
transform you as well as them...the practice of giving an A transports
your relationships from the world of measurement into the universe of
possibility.'
A second practice is to adopt 'Rule Number 6'. There are no other rules
- only rule number 6. And rule number 6 is simply - lighten up. When you
adopt this practice, you don't tell other people to take themselves less
seriously, rather, you learn to look for lightness and humour in a tense
situation yourself.
The final example is possibly the most difficult to implement. It's the
practice of 'Being the Board' - where you accept responsibility for
everything that happens in your life by naming yourself 'the board upon
which the game of life is being played'. It's a practice where you ask
yourself what choices you have made that have brought you to this point
in your life. Rather than finger pointing, when you are being the board,
you remind yourself that you were free to choose which job, which
partner, which city you ended up in. Just as you have played a part in
creating your relationships. The practice isn't always easy to apply in
every circumstance but it's worth considering where you can use it.
Opening up possibility:
- Give someone an 'A'. Focus on what's good in others. People blossom
when you find something positive to say about them.
- Lighten up. Ask yourself if whatever it is that is causing you concern
will really matter in five years time? And more importantly, can you
control the outcome by being overly gloomy about it?
- Be willing to ask the question 'what part did I play in creating this
situation?'. Most of us are too quick to blame others without taking the
time to look at how our actions impacted the scenario.
ON A PERSONAL NOTE
Late last year, Meg decided that she wanted a job at a local cafe. Not
just any cafe, but the busiest and possibly the most popular cafe in our
area. The place that doesn't take on staff under the age of sixteen (and
at the time, Meg was only fifteen). Still, she put in her application.
As much as I like to think I believe in possibility, this was one of
those situations where common sense prevailed. The odds of her getting
her ideal first job were slim. After months of waiting, interspersed
with regular visits to the cafe by Meg, I suggested she apply at the
local supermarket or bakery where she'd be much more likely to succeed.
Meg was having none of it. She increased her trips to the cafe and made
friends with the staff. And finally on Christmas Eve last year she sent
me a text message that read 'Guess where I just got a job?'. I had not
one second of doubt...Meg knew what she wanted, she believed it was
possible and she didn't give up until she created it.
She's had the job now for seven months and gauging by the new
opportunities she's been given, she's a valued member of staff.
We are happy for you to reproduce
our articles as long as they remain intact and contain the author's
details as follows:
'Kate James is a work life balance coach, writer and speaker. She
works with professional people who want to enhance their quality of life
by making the right career and life choices. You can find Kate at
www.totalbalance.com.au.'
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